Snow Day

As much as I hate the cold, I have to admit that all this snow really is beautiful. That is, until it gets driven and walked on and becomes black and dirty. But right now, it's untouched and crunchy and glittery, and I am enjoying it because we haven't seen snow like this since 1996. And I'm appreciating it because I now vow to make this my last winter in Pennsylvania. Or at least for a long time. I can't handle the winters here. The extreme cold is just simply painful, and uncomfortable, and inconvenient. I want warm breeze and warm sun and easier clothes. So that's what I'll get.

The restaurant was closed today and it was nice to have a break. I went outside to go sledding at the art museum, which was great. We didn't have sleds, so we used baking sheets, but they worked just fine! The art museum looked beautiful and all around it too. It's surrounded by trees and it looked so gorgeous and I even saw a bird and a squirrel which I thought was adorable of course. Once you step away from all the commotion at the steps, it is quiet and peaceful and almost as if you are in the middle of a meadow instead of in a city at a museum with lots of loud people. It was serene, and it felt good. I wish I had my camera, but then again it's good I didn't because I probably would have dropped it in the snow and destroyed it.

My scuba class was also cancelled, but I did have my spanish class last night. Which, by the way, is going wonderfully. I've only has two classes, but I absolutely love it! It's fun but it's also hard work. In fact, I should be studying now.

New beginnings and the usual usual

After another week long hiatus from this blog, I'm finally back here updating. I must admit that I'm back in my old routine: checking flights to various countries just for the fun of it, looking at opportunities abroad, and contemplating how difficult it may be if I were to leave my lease early. The only difference is this time is that I know nothing will happen until at least summer. I'm being responsible! I'm trying to do the right thing...stick around and go only when the time is completely right. When my lease is up! Oh this is going to be a tough one...

On another note, I am once again a student, and it's much better this time around. Tonite I had my first Spanish class and I am already addicted. There's no thrill equal to the one you get from speaking another language, even if it is just simple phrases in a beginner's class. In addition to Spanish, I have also started my Scuba certification class. My second class is tomorrow, which I am excited for. It's a lot of terminology to remember, but I'm up for the challenge.

At work, things are not going so well. That job is really taking a toll on me. I'm trying so hard not to let anything get to me, but there's so much stupid drama all day long, on top of the fact that I do everyone's job for no money and only to get called an asshole for it (that's a whole 'nother story). Well, it's a recipe for disaster. PLUS, Matt found out about my stupid crush on him, along with the whole entire restaurant, and now things are somewhat awkward. Well, at first they were but now I guess things are back to normal, but then again, even our normal was pretty awkward.

Anyway, it's February now, which means only a couple more months until t-shirt weather! I really cannot wait!

Rainy Monday

As much as I hate rainy days, they sometimes make me smile because rainy days never fail to bring people together, even in the smallest of ways. I realized this today when I was walking to work on Walnut St. with my rain boots on and my flimsy umbrella blowing inside out and I noticed that only on rainy days do people make eye contact and acknowledge each other. That is because on rainy days everyone has something in common: that they are miserable because of this weather and no one looks or feels their best. People look at each other and smile, or make some expression of sympathy, as if to say, "Yeah, doesn't this suck?" I saw a girl get splashed really bad by the bus and we looked at each other and I made a "Wow I'm sorry" face. Another guy turned to me at a red light and said, "Doesn't this suck?" Another woman saw my umbrella flipping inside out and gave me this look like she felt bad for me. Rainy days unite people. On sunny days no one even glances in other people's directions. Everyone is minding their own business, on their cell phones, walking quickly along. Rainy days have a way of connecting people. Everyone's wet. Everyone feels gross. Everyone feels bad for everyone and themselves.

Rainy days also mean that no one wants to come outside to go to the restaurant and so we were really dead today. BUT, there was one upside. Matt and I exchanged some very awkward comments and glances, because he stayed longer than usual. It's almost as if he was hanging around, like some sort of lost puppy dog, and coming back for little or no reasons, like he apparently forgot something...five or six times. Suspicious, I think. But then again, this may be my vivid imagination doing its best work. We will find out soon though! Because Our non relationship has been taken to the next level by today's extra weirdness. Ahh, rainy monday.

All is well on the counter front

So, on this coming wednesday I take one step farther away from the counter by starting my classes for scuba certification! Woo! AND, I was looking at scholarships today for the Institute of Culinary Education, which I am planning on going to next fall, and I should start the application processes in the spring, which is soon! Just need letters of recommendation, and my transcripts. Lots of work, but hopefully it will pay off by getting at least one scholarship.

As for work, I worked yesterday all day and it went okay I guess. I don't usually work saturdays but apparently I am now. This past week has been busy, outside of work that is. I went ice skating, went to Sheena's band's show to support her, and Henry's comedy thing to support him, and also went with my family to see a couple of new and exciting (and very talented!) musicians which was absolutely perfect. I bought one of their albums and it's fantastic. (Ian Axel--if anyone is interested in super awesome piano players/singers then look him up.)

Supposedly serving is going to ensue very soon, but I've been told that for over a month now. Training is apparently starting next week. I'll believe it when I see it.

Argument

Today was a typical day at the restaurant...ridiculous craziness. It was better than yesterday in terms of business--today we were busy but at least we were more prepared, unlike yesterday which was a disaster because we were swamped and completely understaffed. But before the rush, I was putting the specials in the menus minding my own business, when I realized, I have the specials! And that means...Matt must be here! He's probably been here for all of 2 minutes and I was wasting my time all by myself not even in view of him! I rushed back over to the counter, mainly just to gawk at him before he left. Like I said, it was a typical day.

The rest of the day was great, minus the fact that I got into an argument with one of the servers. I won't say names for this one. And by argument, I mean a REAL argument, not just a fake insult or petty bickering and then 5 minutes later things are back to normal. This was a real one and I was significantly upset, and by that I mean I went to the bathroom and cried. (I know, I'm so juvenile and overly emotional.) But it really upset me on a personal level because in the middle of that argument I had a realization of how similar this guy is to my dad. They both scream at you, talk down to you, talk over you, interrupt you, and are losers who do nothing with their lives! Every sentence, mid-sentence, he would interrupt me only to scream at me some pointless argument that makes no sense, probably just to feel like he has control because he's louder and listens the least.

Why do certain people feel the need to scream their way through life? Are they really that insecure that they feel they need to scream and condescend people in order to be heard? Or is it that they're angry to their very core that they just can't shake it, and when provoked it all emerges and spurts out like steam or lava?

I am soo in the wrong business. And while I'm on the subject of that, in my last post I talked (or I think I did) about getting certified for scuba diving, and since then I have made the call and I start January 27! (I think. Maybe the wednesday after that.) But I am so beyond excited, whether this is just for hobby purposes or if it rises to a career level, I don't care, I'm just happy to be doing something to better myself and to learn something new.

Happy hour

One of the best things about my job is that I get to draw and write all over the chalkboard walls for about 2 hours and then get free food for it because my boss thinks I don't like doing it. Because restaurant week is coming up very soon, I covered the wall above the bar with 'Restaurant Week' written huge, with the menu and price listed below. It was fun, but a little awkward because standing on a stool, my butt was facing the whole dining room. Also my neck hurt really bad afterwards, but still! It was fun. Then Matt, aka van driver delivery guy, came in, for the second time that day, and I completely swooned. I've quickly become quite obsessed with him. As I was standing on the stool, coloring away, I could only think and wonder about whether or not he would be coming a second time that day, and if he did, would I see him? Or would I miss him because I'm in the dining room, and maybe he won't see me? I kept checking. Every noise I heard, every time I heard a door close, I looked to see if it was him. (I'm so lame, I know.)

Well, he finally came! And of course I made some dumb excuse to come down off my stool and go into the kitchen, just to see him only for half a minute, just for some pitiful eye contact and a pathetic "hi." But it was worth it. He's just so...adorable.

After work, Sheena, Leann and I went to happy hour at National Mechanics in Old City. It was a good time, and I (it was only a matter of time until I told more people), of course told them about my crush on Matt after a few drinks. And they agreed with me! They said he's hot! Who could deny it? This crush is escalating as a fast pace...what will happen next? Who will I tell next? is more like it. I know this whole Matt thing is a little far fetched, but when your job is a lame as mine is, it's good to have silly little things to keep you looking forward to work everyday.

Working for a dream

One of the things I like least about my job is that I do so much work that isn't even in my job description and don't get paid nearly enough for it, but today I stood up for myself instead of letting people walk all over me. A couple days ago, my boss asked me to clean certain walls that had stains all over them, and also to do some dusting. I did it without complaining. But last night they redid the floors and because of all the sanding they did, there was sawdust everywhere, so I had to do that cleaning again. Specifically, I had to scrub at the baseboard of this certain wall because there was this grimy layer there. I also did that without complaining, but the residue just wouldn't come off. So later that day Gary told me to do it again and at this point I had hit my limit. So I told him I'm not doing it, that I already did it and the residue wouldn't come off, and if he really wanted it off then they should hire a real cleaning lady. His response was, "you're the cleaning lady." NO way. I am NOT your cleaning lady. I am the COUNTER girl and even that is a lowly position. Oh he makes me so mad. He would never ask a server to do that, but he asks me because I'm the counter girl and he has no respect for me. And that's why he is procrastinating making me a server for so long--because I always do things that need to be done that no one else wants to do. But no more! I'm only doing what's in my job description. Maybe if I got a raise then I would consider doing all that ridiculous crap but not now. Forget it.

Days like today are hard because I feel so wasteful of my own life. What am I doing? I'm a counter girl in a restaurant. It's going no where. I need to get on top of things, make things happen in my life, and eventually get out of this city. People say it's better to be at the bottom of a ladder you want to climb rather than halfway up one you have no interest in climbing. Well right now I'm at the bottom of one I don't want to climb, so I'm no where near where I want to be. I'm so anxious for things to happen, and I'm trying to make things happen, but nothing's happening! It's not like I'm not trying! I signed up for a spanish class 10 days ago and the teacher said she would call me back once she'd placed me in a class. She hasn't called. Then today I called the dive center in Philly to sign up for scuba certification classes and they moved their location to Glen Mills, which goodle maps said it would take 2 hours to get there by public transit! Argh! So THEN, I called a center in Lansdale, where I'm from, and I repeatedly got a busy signal. Why does the universe want me to stay a counter girl?

I'll call tomorrow. I'll call until something happens. Until then, I'm stuck in the restaurant business.